


My instincts say: Don't leave. But my mouth say: I don't need you.

by 0Hedvig0



Series: Life goes on in Beacon Hills [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 06, Pre-Relationship, Self-Hatred, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:46:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25240345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0Hedvig0/pseuds/0Hedvig0
Summary: Months later, since Gerard once again tried to ruin Beacon Hills, Derek found himself in some trouble.[Short fic]
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Life goes on in Beacon Hills [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828510
Kudos: 5





	My instincts say: Don't leave. But my mouth say: I don't need you.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic takes place months after season 8.
> 
> English is not my first language, so please keep that in mind

Derek limped to the nearest tree and leaned heavily against it. Blood trickled down his bottom lip, coloring everything in its way red and the crucial pain taking over the body made his eyes squeeze shut. Through gritted teeth, Derek tried to listen to his surroundings, but every ache made it difficult to focus. Whatever attacking him must’ve fled because the only thing he could muster to hear was the sound of wind rustling the leaves. 

A low whine slipped through Derek’s nose while he was busy breathing, because something in his body made it hard to breathe, and suddenly a cough was forcing his lungs and ribs to move. But they didn’t stop coming. Raspy coughs shook his body and a new sort of pain overcame him and with every cough came an agonizing groan.

This was a mistake, was the only thing going round and round in Derek’s head. It was a mistake coming alone and he was paying the consequences not trusting anyone else to come. Or, it was never about trust, but more about keeping everyone at a distance, for their sake. Once again it had been proven, only destruction followed his path and what Derek just a moment ago thought was a mistake, he realized was only pure luck. Looking down at the gaping wound in his chest and the blood seeping between the fingers keeping pressure on it, he could imagine how the others would look like if they came with.

The burning sensation in every injury on his body pushed and pulled at his flesh and muscles, it felt like he was going to be ripped apart and Derek’s instincts forced a hollow howl to leave his lips. Then, swimming in pain, he fell down on knees beside the tree, bloody hand slipping against the bark of the tree. Just a little while, he was just going to rest for a little while. 

Derek flinched and turned his head to growl when hands grabbed at him. He barely could keep his eyes open and hadn’t even noticed anyone arriving. Noises seemed to be coming everywhere around him, and he couldn’t figure out if it was voices or not, and if it were voices, whose voice it was.

“Alright, big guy” the words was suddenly clear and steady in Derek’s ears and the voice manage to lower his heart rate “Let’s get you to safety”.

Safety, it felt like a strange word to use when already Derek’s wolf could breathe easier and muscles begun relaxing. Just one voice seemed to be enough to have that impact on the wolf. 

Arms circled to lift his body and Derek cried out in pain by being moved and someone quickly hushed at his left side “It’s alright, we’re here, buddy” the same voice was now quick and trembled while wrapping Derek’s left arm over the shoulder “everything will be alright”.

Even if the words were false, it gave Derek enough comfort to sense the other one who came with Stiles. Derek’s head lolled to the right where Scott had the right arm slung over his shoulder to steady the wounded werewolf while walking. 

Even if his sight was dizzy, Derek could distinguish the determined gaze in Scott’s eyes and the smell of worry, which caused different kind of questions to go through Derek’s mind. Questions like; why they’re all here and how could they even know where to find him.

For a second Scott’s eyes flickered to Derek’s unfocused ones, a frown appeared on the Alphas face “What do you mean ‘why’?” and a snort came from Derek’s left.

“You’re sucha a dumbass” Stiles mumbled and his grip on Derek’s hand tighten, still grumbling “Of course we’ll come, stupid werewolf. Being all stubborn and stupid, going alone. Stupid”.

Derek was filled with the want to turn his head, to see Stiles’s face, but instead groaned “The poison” when his body suddenly folded by itself. The pressure, pushing and pulling inside every injury was becoming unbearable and he could no longer hold back the whimpering leaving his throat. 

Interlacing their fingers, Stiles’s grip on Derek’s hand became stronger, but the words he kept whispering in Derek’s ear was only nonsense, because Derek couldn’t focus enough to hear what it was he said. 

  
  


Stiles’s breath hitched when Derek became limp between him and Scott. Their eyes met over the unconscious werewolf, neither knowing what or who could’ve wound Derek to this point, where he was engulfed by so much pain he couldn’t even keep himself awake.

“His-” Stiles averted his gaze while hefting Derek’s arm higher to get a better grip. 

“-heart has a steady beat” Scott completed Stiles question with a soft answer and their gaze met once more. Stiles mouth twitched as a thanks which Scott nodded at.

Stiles drove like a madman, trees whooshing by the windows in a blur. In the rear mirror he could see the pale face leaning against Scott’s shoulder. They needed to get back to Derek’s place, and it was fast.

“Do you think he has some kind of antidote to the poison?” Scott laid a hand on Derek’s forehead “It’s like he has a fever” concern coloring his voice.

Stiles shrugged, licking his lips. They tasted salty of fatigue by dragging and lifting the heavy body.

“It’s the most logical thing to have, which if being honest, this is Derek. Who’s nowhere near logical thoughts,” Stiles’s fingers twitched on the steering wheel and his voice softened “but, since all the craziness happened with Gerard and still having Monroe out there, Derek has changed. A lot” he let the last out like a whisper. Stiles eyes suddenly sparked “But then the freaking asshole goes and do stupid shit like this and show us that he still is the a stupid wolf who sacrifices himself without telling me he needed help” he growled through clenched teeth, then with a sigh Stiles soften his voice again “If he just had told me, I would’ve been there. I want to always be there for him”.

Scott was quiet for a moment, then an awkward “So, yes?” and Stiles quickly cleared his throat, suddenly feeling warmer.

“Yeah” he nodded and met Scott’s eyes in the rear mirror, and Stiles groaned “Don’t give me that look, we don’t have time for anything else than getting that big stupid wolf his medicine”.

Scott was the one shrugging this time, a small smile on his lips “I wasn’t giving any look”. 

Stiles snorted, but didn’t take his eyes of the road “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’ve tried to master the ‘Talking without word’-mojo Derek’s have been mastering since we met him” and at that moment, he really appreciated Scott and his attempt to distract Stiles from going into frenzy mode. 

Ever since finding Derek, Stiles’s mind had tried several times to go back to the memories he feared to remember, when Derek was given the deadly wound by the Berserker, which looked a lot like the one he had this time.

“That doesn’t make any sense. We’ve always been able to communicate without words” Scott’s voice drags him back from his thoughts.

Stiles hummed and nodded, thinking back at the several times there had only been a look and they had understand each other “Yeah, true”.

A deep, gurgling groan from the backseat made Stiles foot push harder at the gas pedal which the Jeep gave a loud protest, but it didn’t show any sign of breaking and they quickly could get to Derek’s.

  
  


Something cold on his forehead startled Derek to open his eyes. At first everything was just a blur, but slowly he could make out details, like the chair in the corner of his bedroom. 

The moon was shining bright through the only window in the room and while getting his eyes used to the light, Derek took a moment to breathe and felt air coming down more easily than before. His skin shivered like someone poured ice all over the body and Derek moved to try and pull the cover closer, but his arm was held down onto the bed and a soothing sound stopped Derek’s growling.

“You can’t be moving, stupid” the sound of Stiles’s voice was like someone pushed a button in Derek’s chest that let out all air in his lungs “You need to keep still, that way the poison will not move around in your body and the antidote will clear it quicker”. Without meeting Derek’s eyes, Stiles dabbed something cold on his forehead, down his cheek and chin, then up again “You still have some fever” he mumbled.

Derek swallowed, suddenly a lump in his throat and he couldn’t look at Stiles face anymore. The moon was bathing everything and everyone in a soft glow or making dark shadows, and the mix of them made Stiles face expressions more intimate. 

“The wound on your chest,” Stiles began and Derek could feel his hand wavering over the place the gruesome hole was before, then Stiles cleared his throat and withdrew the hand, turning his back towards Derek “it refuses to heal correctly like everything else”.

Derek let his gaze lay on Stiles back, where he sat on the bed next to Derek’s shoulders. He could see the slight tremble on Stiles’s body.

“Are-” Derek’s voice broke and Stiles turned quickly to look at him, big round eyes worrying about him. Derek took a breath “Are, you tired?” and Stiles looked surprised by his words.

“Wha-” Stiles licked his lips, narrowing his eyes at Derek “If I’m tired? What do you think? Of course I’m tired! I had to walk all the way, in the middle of the night if I might add, to rescue you and not only that “Stiles chuckled with tears in his eyes “No, then I had to carry you, all the way to my car. Because you, my dear wolfie friend, was unconscious and pumped with so much poison that we almost didn’t-” Stiles clenched his jaw to stop himself from speaking.

Derek could barely keep up with Stiles’s words, his head was still feeling drowsy and he took several calming breaths, but Stiles didn’t let him search for words to answer the outburst. Or, Derek wasn’t even sure if there was anything to answer. 

“But we got you here in time and you’ll be alright, which is more important than the rest.” Stiles whispered while looking down at his hands fidgeting in his lap “Scott went to his place to clean up” Stiles said before Derek could ask, and by the look on Derek’s face “You threw up goo all over him when he was carrying you to the bed” Stiles explained with hands moving like they helped everything make more sense.

Derek turned his head, which Stiles misinterpreted and he laid a hand on Derek’s shoulder “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not the first time you threw up in front of us” then Stiles shrugged “Yeah sure, if the rest searching for you was there, I could understand”.

“The rest?” Derek mumbled with a frown and glanced at the fingers on his shoulder, remembering the feeling of them linking with his own. The fingers twitched on his shoulder and unaware of what he was doing, Stiles’s thumb started caressing Derek’s sensitive skin.

“Yeah, my dad and Scott’s mom,” Stiles started counting of the pack, but Derek had stopped listening. 

Everyone had been out there in the same woods as Derek, where that thing had attacked and poisoned him. So many ‘What if’ began racing through Derek’s mind, but it stopped abruptly by a hand on his cheek.

”You okay?” Stiles voice was as soft as his hand felt against Derek’s cheek and Derek couldn’t stop the slight angle his head made to come closer to it.

But then instantly, Derek turned his head away with a grunted “I’m fine” and the hand quickly disappeared from his cheek. Derek closed his eyes, his chest aching by acting that way and at the loss of warmth.

Stiles swallowed loudly and Derek could hear the clicking sound in his throat, and in the corner of his eye Derek saw Stiles nodding.

“Alright, do you need me to-” the words died on Stiles lips and the silence suddenly became uncomfortable between them.

Derek clenched his jaw “No, you,” then swallowed and whispered “you can go” without looking at Stiles, but he could feel Stiles heavy gaze for several seconds before the bed dipped and the pressure of the second body disappeared.

Their eyes met once more, Derek not having the gut to fully turn his head towards Stiles who stood awkwardly next to the bed with hands in pockets.

“Okay, then I-“Stiles pointed a thumb over the shoulder “I’ll go”.

Derek moved his gaze towards the ceiling “Yeah” his voice was barely heard and he grinded his teeth by the retreating footsteps, and he willed himself not to look towards the sound when the door was dragged open and then closed, harder than necessary.

Squeezing his eyes shut, a low “Fuck” left Derek’s lips and he clenched his fists. Being with someone was a luxury he would never have.


End file.
